baby, i'm sorry it's like this

Wednesday, July 15, 2020


Sweet boy, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry you haven't been able to see so many of your family and friends in so long.

I'm sorry you haven't been able to fly through the air squealing with delight on the swing set, let your fast little feet hit the pavement of the playground.

I'm sorry we have to keep you away from so many people when people are what you love the most.

I'm sorry you've seen mama cry. I'm sorry the headlines are always so scary. Even though you can't read them, I know you pick up on emotions so easily and sometimes, mommy's emotions are sad when she should be happy, worried and anxious when she should be fun and carefree.

I'm sorry daddy has to work late nights. He's helping keep people safe though, baby, people who are at risk, lonely and scared. You should be so proud!

I'm sorry this is affecting your big brother and sister as they navigate their way through school, work, and all the what-ifs and could-bes.

I'm sorry that we don't have answers. I'm sorry that with you, sweet boy, we have to take extra precautions. I'm sorry the world feels so weird right now. This isn't the world I imagined you growing up in. This isn't the world I imagined for any of us.

I'm just so sorry.

But mama still has your back, even amid the doom and gloom, the worries and whys. Daddy is always looking out for you, too, every second of every day. So you know what? We'll be okay! Sure, life looks a little different now. But the sun is still shining and the world is still turning. We're in this TOGETHER. We're loving, laughing and learning TOGETHER. We have extra time for pillow forts and Veggie Tales and choo-choo trains. We still have the outdoors to explore, new adventures to begin. We have FaceTimes to make to Grammy and Gramps, letters to write to Grandmommy and Papa. We have chalk and bubbles and drumsticks and ice cream. We have Goldfish and music and Legos, slobbery kisses and pajamas in the afternoon.

We're doing our part to help keep people safe and healthy.

And honestly?

We kinda look like superheroes doing it. 

This too shall pass. I'm so lucky I get to pass this time with you.

-Mama/Kaley

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