As I write this, I know I can't yet hit "publish." Soon enough, though, it'll be different. The world (orrrr just my Facebook friends, it's whatever) will know. Those beyond just our close friends and family will start to understand why my clothes are fitting a little tighter...beyond my sudden affinity for Cheesy Gordita Crunches. For now though, I'll cling to my secret for just a tiny bit longer.
Hi, Baby Branch. We've been waiting for this moment for so long. 💗
On April 15, I was driving home from Austin from my new sister-in-law's bachelorette party (I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT, OK?!) when I got a notification from my Glow app. For the past six-seven months, Taylor and I had been casually not not-trying for a baby (a Twig, if you will) and honestly, nothing was happening. Right on time, Mother Nature blew on through each month and I would be lying if I said we hadn't begun to worry. Taylor started early with his two children--by just 19, he was a married father of two. At that same time, I was 13 and my life amounted to not much more than frosted lip gloss and Nsync songs. Now, at 28, I found myself inching closer and closer to that time in my life where I felt as ready [as you can be] for momma-hood and at 34, I knew my husband felt his own biological clock was ticking. We have one kid going off to college in the fall and another starting high school at the same time. Was it just too late for a little one of our own?
Fast-forward to Austin and that app. I spent the weekend having a blast, dancing in the world's most uncomfortable but also completely-worth-it hot pink heels and celebrating our Branch-to-be. On the way home, I'm navigating my way through traffic (shout out to that small town life and kinda forgetting how to be a defensive driver) when I notice the screen of my phone light up. Glow, an app used to track a woman's fertility, was notifying me that I was six days late for my period. "Did you forget to log?" it asked. I stopped. My heart started beating faster. And I began to think.
I had been late before but it had never amounted to anything. For some reason though, as my mind began to race through the possibilities, I knew that this time, it was different. 30 minutes later, I swooped into the Target parking lot in Temple and made a beeline for the pregnancy tests. Immediately after paying, I was seated alone in a public restroom stall with a glowing blue cross symbol in my right hand and a second unused test in my left. It was positive. My eyes filled with happy tears as my heart continued its whole nervous, racing palpitation thing. So, what now?
Not knowing quite what to do, I waited in line at the Target Starbucks for a passion fruit tea (first ever craving? Maybe?) as I began to formulate a master plan. Aimlessly, I wandered over to the dressing rooms and asked an employee if they happened to have any t-shirts with the word "mom" written on them. Surely enough, there was one, a navy blue tee with a circle of stars and the phrase "I'm a mom. What's your superpower?" splashed across the front. I quickly grabbed the shirt and then made my way to the coffee mugs where I found one that had the word "mom" written in various languages across it. With my new finds in hand, I ran over to the self-checkout and then sat in my car. For like, a really long time. With the AC blasting and shadows of the sun on my skin, I finally began to breathe. I. Was. Pregnant. Whoa.
I still had almost an hour-long drive before I made it home to Gatesville where I knew my husband awaited me. I mindlessly listened to music as I drove, unable to concentrate on much more than the road in front of me. Finally, I pulled into the driveway and walked into our backyard where Taylor, his son, Ethan, and good friend, Kris, were cleaning catfish. No, there's nothing quite like planning to tell your hubby that you're pregnant while he's covered in blood, guts and pure STANK. ;)
After saying my hellos, I ran into our bedroom and nervously changed into the t-shirt I just bought. I quickly slipped on a hoodie over it and raced into the kitchen where I began furiously knocking on the backyard window to catch Taylor's attention. It worked. Kinda. Confused, he started motioning for me to come outside and I impatiently shook my head 'no' and gestured for him to come inside instead. After some charade-style negotiating, I ran back into the bathroom where I waited to make my grand entrance. Finally, in walks Taylor and out walks me, hoodie off and announcement on full display.
"Do you like my new shirt?" I asked incredulously. Cue the stunned silence, shocked expression and "Babe...are you serious?!" as he cautiously ran over to hug me. I whipped out the test to assure him and we both sat, stunned, nervous, unsure, yet over-the-moon.
Although I planned to wait to tell my parents in person, my inpatient self couldn't quite handle it and I ended up Facetiming them that evening...again with the happy tears and confusion from my father over what exactly the weirdly shaped stick with ClearBlue written on it meant.
Later that week, Taylor and I called ahead to a family favorite, Buffalo Wild Wings, to inform the staff of a little plan we had. After picking Faith up from a student council conference she had attended for a few days, we and the kids walked into BDubs for an unassuming evening of chicken wings and [not] beer. We got seated by our waitress at a table for five, high chair and kids' coloring sheet included. "Oh, I thought you guys were a party of five," she said. "Well, not until December!", I responded. Pro tip: announcing you're pregnant is always made better by wings.
Also, knowing that I literally cannot keep my mouth shut about anything when it comes to her, I made sure to FaceTime my best friend, Renee, under the guise of showing her the "new coffee mug I got her for her first Mother's Day" (a totally FaceTime-worthy moment, obvs) and suddenly holding up a second matching mug while slipping in a casual "oh, I got myself one, too...." 😉 The reactions were worth every bit of my impatient inability to keep really, really good feelings to myself for very long.
So today I sit, 13 weeks pregnant, ending my first trimester with steady nausea, a pinched nerve in my hip, a scattered mind and constant lack of energy and yet somehow I feel happy, fulfilled and abundantly blessed. A week ago, I had my second OBGYN appointment and we got to hear Baby Branch's strong, steady, fast heartbeat, a sound unlike any I've ever known. It's real. It's happening. It's ours.
Twig, you have my word that your daddy, sister, brother and I will love you to the moon and back, to every corner of the Earth, through every inch of the seas. Momma is scared, excited, nervous, hopeful but most importantly, hopelessly in love. Daddy's done this whole thing before but it's been awhile. ;) Bear with us, baby. We're in this together. From now until forever.
I will always love you, sweet, sweet, child of mine, and I cannot wait to meet you. I am so lucky that I get to bring you into this world and guide you through any and all terrain the best I know how. I'm so eager to get to know you and get to love you.
All my heart and every bit of my soul,
Mommy
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